Painting Over History


07 Oct
07Oct

I love new projects. My creativity comes in many forms. Cooking, singing, decorating, painting; anything that brings me joy~ brings out my creativity. I have this strange thing that happens; I wake up with a picture or an idea in my mind. I obsess over it. I google, take notes and think about it until I do it. It's annoying for sure for people living with me… those inhabitants I call family (just kidding, I love them). 


I have an old house that has been painted over so many times, who knows what is original. It was built in 1925. I love old houses. The history: the stories, the memories, the architecture. We have lived in this house for 7 years; 3 of those years, I was a drunken mess. It was a progression. I had big hopes of redecorating rooms and just never got to it. The alcoholism led me to a path where nothing mattered, but drinking. After I got sober 4 years ago, I spent 1-2 years getting back on my feet, physically, as I was paralyzed from my alcohol dependency. The next year was my spiritual recovery. What a year that was! 


I was connecting with spirit; I was in a world I never imagined. Beautiful colors and crisp, bright new sights. If you have never had an awakening, it's hard to explain; it's like going to heaven or to another dimension where things are more beautiful, smell better, taste better. It's like being on drugs, but not! You don’t have to get sober to have those feelings. That was just my path. The next year, this year, my new world as I call it… I live my life with joy and happiness. I release anything that no longer serves me, I hold on to all the things that give me fuzzy warm feelings. I have stopped worrying about WHAT IF??? I have stripped myself to nothing, a blank slate~ and then I filled myself with all the glorious things that make me… ME

This goes back to all my inspired creations. If I want to paint, that's what I do. If I want to take a class, I do it. I don’t worry about what I need to do to get to it, I set an intention and the universe provides. Back to my vision… It was a beautiful kitchen and pantry, white and bright. Currently my kitchen and pantry do not match. I am not a matchy matchy person (have you ever seen how I dress, lol). Although, I have always wanted a more uniform kitchen and pantry. I found some inspiration pictures online at 2:30am on Sunday and I got to work at 6am. I have way too many plates and cups, different colors and themes; my first order of business was clearing out! I want a cleaner, brighter pantry. Check out my progress under projects.


I had a lot of work to do and I get overwhelmed sometimes when I am not centered, so I made sure to practice my mindfulness. That means being in the moment. Taking my time and not letting my thoughts wonder, just focus on the task on hand. Whenever I work like that, creativity gets stronger, but so does my clarity. I realized how much I needed this project. In my drinking days, the pantry was my drinking bunker. I hid my drinking in that corner. I hid my booze in those cabinets, I hid my feelings, emotions and fears in that bunker. I spent a lot of time there, 3 years. 


I had an ugly cry. I cried about the past for a quick second and then I cried for me. I cried because I am so fucking proud of myself. I have a lot of support and I am grateful for that, it took a long time for me to be proud of myself though. It all came out! I was bawling in a half painted pantry. No idea what the next step is, I just know I am on the right path. So many wonderful doors have opened since sobriety, so many beautiful life experiences. I want to remember it all. Redoing this pantry reminds me of my progress and growth. It's special to me, it makes me feel good! Better yet, AMAZING. Sobriety is amazing! That is exactly what I want out of life and I am living it! 


My advice to anyone on a path of discovery… Don’t think too much about it. Set an intention of what you want, pray, meditate, and live life in joy. It will happen. 


Don’t forget to check back on the progress… Inspiration for Pantry


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